Unfortunately, I’m Not A Hero 42

Unfortunately, I’m Not A Hero 42

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Wordcount: 2500

Commissioned by Shaderic

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The average life the average Kindred is pretty shit, but not nearly as bad as what humanity put itself through during the medieval period. Magic and better bodies make things a lot easier, even if those with the best magic and bodies will keep you down. Being able to make clean, fresh water, start fires with ease, and withstand the elements with ease pretty much ensures that the average Kindred is naturally predisposed to not just dying, as long as they can get food.

Thankfully, food can be acquired through farming, rearing animals, or hunting. The various, non-fuckable animals in this world don’t just exist to give me some piece of mind. There’s plenty of them being tended to, fed, and slaughtered to feed ravenous predators wearing too little and showing off too much. Farms are a common sight in Kindred territory too, but given their easier access to magic, they’ve achieved massive fields of single crops centuries ahead of time, due to the simple necessity that Kindred simply need to eat more, have had to figure out how, and had plenty of magic to throw at the problem.

Still, once the average Kindred manages to secure a source of food, that’s when the “problems” begin.

Kindred live a long time, compete for men (of which there are too few), and have nearly no upward mobility. Do you want a nice house, a good man, and to have influence and power? Well, you’re going to be fighting against a centuries-old Vampire that probably hates you because your ancestor took a man, she fancied two centuries ago. An entrenched powerbase is an understatement.  

he powers-that-be can kill you while getting licked all over by their newest husband when your entire community hasn’t seen a man in years. 

Kindred have no choice besides to look for fights against anything that’ll give them more wealth and renown, try their hand at getting rich so that they can bribe their way influence, or become a servant of the ruling class, keep the rest down, and enjoy luxuries at the cost of others. So… pretty much the same as the modern world, except with less air conditioning, television, and means of making people less unhappy. You either use what talents you have for the system, or the system crushes you.

Roseanne’s looking to make changes, thankfully. She’s out to empower the masses, shake up those hemming her in, and finding other leaders who are idealistic and nice enough to give away their power to sleep better at night. She wants to educate the masses, give them a better chance at life, and lose less people in constant skirmishes. Either she’s going to lead the Kindred into a revolution that’s going to immortalize her forever, or she’s going to one of the first heads chopped off in a massive bloodbath.

Without a doubt, my plan to stay the fuck out of Kindred politics and just let her do what she wants is the absolute best approach.

Still, it’s just a little tempting to start fanning flames, so Roseanne will be incentivized to work harder and for those unwilling to listen to her to be more willing.

Even if a Vampire can kill their way through a few dozen people who’ve secured their lot in life enough to want to protest for better conditions, they can’t do the same to a few hundred.

And, with how Roseanne’s adopting my way of producing food and livestock, that’ll come sooner rather than later.

Did I tell her that?

I wonder if I did.

Seriously, did I, because it’d be bad if the people at my back devolved into civil war before finishing off the Empire, y’know!?

I can’t profit from, or use the Kindred, if they’re all freakin’ dead!

…

Given the fact we’re flying across the continent, past even the Capital, the Wyverns and Harpies need rest for the evening. The Harpies busied themselves with looking over the transports, while the Wyverns turned in after a heavy dinner, since they had a lesser load during transit. The camp was compact, near a source of fresh water, and several large tents filled with snoring bundles of lizards, with Amazons guarding the perimeter. 

By all means, Kurama shouldn’t be walking around in a Kimono, and looking at me strangely for putting on a cloak along with Ur and Reiser.

Naturally, since we were landing in someone else’s territory, Kurama was dressed tin her best kimono and being attended to by her actually-clothed Kunoichi, so that she could exchange gifts and tribute to the owner of the land. Two entire transports were dedicated to the gifts she was offering, making up the entire warehouse, and one of them was already half empty for the small caravan she was taking to see the lady of the land. The red-haired Kitsune was doing her utmost to do the duty I entrusted to her. 

Heh, go suffer the demands of politics in my stead, Kurama, while I do things that are actually important.

“May I ask what you’re doing, husband?” That’s a bold statement to make, Kurama, but I’ll allow it so that you don’t make a ruckus about what I’m doing. I’m perfectly aware that nobles sneaking into the lands of other nobles is seen as incredibly shifty. In fact, doing reconnaissance like this without permission, while she’s entertaining our host, can be seen as collaborative efforts to clandestinely obtain information. So, Kurama can reasonably tell all her retainers to stop me from my current actions, given the power and influence she holds, as well as the reasonability of the request to her educated, loyal retainers. “And, may I also suggest not going through with it, so that you don’t endanger our lands with another enemy abroad?”

“Not a chance. I’m going to see what Roseanne’s doing with my knowledge whether you like it or not.” Still, I have a solid case in regards to what I’m doing. The lands we’re currently working in is just a province away from the Capital, thus it has changed recently due to Roseanne’s efforts with everything Tanis sent her. From above, according to my Harpies, there were bulletin boards, roads, and relays for messages and news spreading all over, that were very similar to Ylstu. Roseanne’s information network, her influence/reach with the knowledge I’ve provided, has begun seeping into this province. Therefore, I need to know how it’s going, so I can tell her what she’s doing wrong. “I need to see if Roseanne’s fucking up, so that I tell her how to fix it. If I don’t, the Kindred will shatter in tribes again, and start fighting each other instead of the Empire.”

“…Fine, then, if that’s the true reason why you wish to go, and not spend your time with foreign villagers, I will not stop you.” Huh, I didn’t expect you to be this level-headed about this topic, especially since you look more displeased than ever about something I’m doing. Wait a minute, why are you more pissed about me walking around in a peasant village, than using myself to attract enemies into a trap? Or, you know, forcing you to do all the work while I just look at things, infer what I can, and potentially send Ylstu into political turmoil? Me going to look at peasantry is apparently more worrying for some reason? “Ur, Reiser, and A’Bel-sama, please ensure that my future husband is safe from any… dangers… whatsoever.”

“Of course.”

“Naturally.”

“He needs it not, but I shall provide.” 

What the hell? Are the lower classes worse off than I thought? Can I really only be sent out with a freaking former-Hero, Amazon, and Demon, if I’m going to investigate the unestablished? Just how close is this place teetering towards revolution, huh? Tell me, right now, if I’ve actually tipped odds too much to stop anything and Roseanne already filled the fields with too many future problems. Was I lied to in the Capital? Are the poor actually in such a shitty situation that they’re willing to brave any danger, including a heavily armed, mysterious group that’s appeared from out of nowhere? 

This knowledge is very much necessary, because none of my plans can actually function if Ylstu is the last, only bastion of sanity on this continent, y’know!?

…

Thankfully, the academic system of the Capital didn’t fuck me over with lies and propaganda, and I found exactly what was I told I’d find in a community of the lower classes of Kindred. The village was a day’s ride on horseback from where we landed, which was close to the central castle of the province’s ruler, and it was a small community centered around two waterwheels that cut logs, as well as powered a mill. It was definitely something I needed to start looking into for Ylstu, when I found a way to secure the river.

The small village was no more than a dozen houses, with a few larger structures for a few craftspeople, and probably a single, dedicated shop. A town square made of dirt sat before the largest house, where the leader probably lived, and where they conducted their weekly markets or met to discuss things. There was an inn with a stable, but it was small, and obviously meant to house only important visitors on occasion. It wasn’t even manned, so I couldn’t trade up for better party members, save, or level up.

Wait, wrong genre.

Not die due to lack of shelter, because this is a survival horror game where nation states have formed and exist solely due to racism.  

“Come now, my dear contractor, this is a wonderful town for most Kindred. It is productive, protected, and permits procreation.” A’Bel giggled and gestured at the dirt road beneath our feet. Ur and Reiser were rapidly catching up with us, since my summoned Demon was faster than them even while carrying me. Anyway, what she was pointing out was obvious. The tracks of children. “This is paradise for the common Kindred… though it merely a shadow’s shadow in the light cast by your own creation.”

This is the point where the brain-dead protagonist says what he’s made can’t even compare to his home, and make a pointless side character gasp in shock, while the artist has an easy time tracing lines over modern building, vehicles, and the like.

Thankfully, I’m more than happy to take credit for my work and avoid fellating the nationalist otaku.

They’re like regular otaku, but worse.

“Of course, it is. All your magic and ability make you all worthless when it comes to making anything complicated.” Now, I’m not anti-magic. In fact, I’m very pro-magic. Anything that lets me skip making complex sewers, but gives me a clean city and hot water, is good in my books. In fact, since magic also lets me blow up my enemies, I’m a huge fan of it. The more magic I can get my hands on the better, and I’ll take all I can afford. However, that’s fine for me, since I know what to do without it, and make use of it only when necessary. “Solving everything by fucking, and waving your hands around post-orgasm might be great, but the Kindred have forgotten to actually do literally anything else.” 

If the Kindred advanced technologically, at least at the same pace as the Empire, this war would be nothing but a faint memory. They had the bodies, the magic, and the ability, but since they didn’t need to look for new technologies, develop new strategies, and look for new ways to succeed, they’ve only managed stalemate. 

In short, they’re so good at winning from birth that they don’t know what to do when they’re about to lose. 

Hopefully, though, there’s going to be some changes to that in the future with Roseanne’s efforts. 

“Indeed, with the Demon Lord’s backing, the Kindred will change according to her whims.” A’Bel mused and gestured at the entrance of the town. There as a sign that declared where it was, as well as a small, stout building for the use of delivering messages and parcels, and a bulletin board. Three little things that were so normal to Ylstu that I had to ask the Harpies about them, since they just assumed, they were normal. Those three things, though, were the start of an immense change to the Kindred. “All shall become, or emulate Ylstu, and through the bindings of pen and paper, a stronger people… no… nation shall arise.”

“If they don’t fall off the ladder and break their neck on the way down.” A grunted, as I walked to look over Roseanne’s recent additions to the town. The bulletin board was filled with sheets and sheets of large-lettered signs. She made the same mistake as I did, and assumed too many of her people were literate. However, unlike me, there was no sign of her putting in a system to tell the time. Ylstu operated off of a 24-hour system through hourglasses and bells, and this town didn’t even have a sundial. “Or, make so many mistakes that the entire project chokes on its spit and dies before getting anything important done.”

I was just about done looking when Ur and Reiser both arrived, so that they could enjoy a swift return trip to camp, when A’Bel interlaced her fingers over my chest, and brought me against her chest. If I was facing her, I’d be dead, because with her bountiful tracts of land and strength, suffocation wouldn’t been the only option. Unfortunately, even whilst facing away, I was robbed of all my manliness and pride by getting bouncy, pert, and snug earmuffs that I didn’t ask for. 

“But you will not allow either to happen, correct? The Kindred crumbling, or failing to emulate you, will mean a tragedy that you will look upon as your own, personal failing.” Logically, it wouldn’t be. Roseanne is the one ravenously trying to rush towards modernity, and she’s the one ruling over these lands, and forcing them all to change. If it fails, or blows up in her face, the problem and responsibility should be hers. Sure, I’m interested in the Kindred staying together, but I can also take advantage of the chaos that might arise, if it falls apart. “Yet, you will not, because the blood spilt shall form on your hands nonetheless, despite the power of your logic and confidence.”

Frustratingly, A’Bel was right. 

Even if things weren’t as bad as I feared, with massive numbers of people possibly rising up against Roseanne and the nobility in a few seasons, I still needed to do something. While I NEEDED to prevent a Kindred civil war, I only stand to benefit from Roseanne not fucking up modernizing the Kindred. Therefore, if I don’t stop her from fucking up, it’s my future loss in better support coming my way courtesy of a stronger, more powerful backer.

Still, I wasn’t going to do it for free.

“The stupid nobility isn’t going to get everything. In fact, I don’t want them getting jack shit.” Fuck giving immortal, powerful bloodlines what I’ve brought into this world through my efforts and memory of my home. If I’m gong to help Roseanne by fixing her fuck ups with my ideas, it’s going to come with the caveat that it’s going to benefit the common Kindred, too. Just ways to strengthen her rule and ability to call up more troops isn’t allowed. She’s going to need to involve the other changes I’ve made too. “If Roseanne wants my help, if she wants to me to tell her what she’s fucked up in and how to fix it, she’s going to have to bargain for it.”

I’ve already given her what any “loyal” subject would, but letting her read all about what I’m doing through Tanis and all the other clerks. 

Anything more is extra.

And, by extra, I mean the nobility and rulers of Kindred starting to give away the power they’ve hoarded all this time to the rest of the Kindred.

Or, I don’t help, and let her keep fucking up. 

Everything I will make and have made is going to benefit everyone… or no one’s going to have it at all.

And, that’s that.