A World Of Light: Transdim X Smash Brothers.

A World Of Light: Transdim X Smash Brothers.

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Commissioned by Tsubame Gaeshi 

Wordcount: 1150

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Waking up in an unfamiliar place is generally something I do my best to avoid, since it typically happens after I lose my mind and engage in unhealthy activities. 

Huh? What’s with that look?

 Oh, you think I’m implying that I imbibe illicit substances for minors, such as cigarettes, alcohol, and/or drugs.

No, I mean spending my nights routing out criminal syndicates, crushing gambling rings, and tracking down kidnapper as a one-man artillery brigade. 

Typically speaking, if I wake up without any knowledge of the previous night in a place I’ve never been, I expect to look at Orario’s skyline and see a plume of smoke rising off in the distance. 

Anyhow, to cut a long monologue short, midnight heroics are a problem, since I don’t get any rest, ruin my social life, and, for a cynical bastard with self esteem issues, very, very addicting.

So, before even getting up, I prepared myself to be shocked, so that I could repress that shock, and get on with my day.

Life doesn’t stop, even after you spend a night ripping through a town’s criminal underworld, after all.

My preparations didn’t help me in the slightests, since upone waking up I wasn’t looking up at Orario’s sky… but Kirby.

That’s right.

Kirby.

Nintendo’s Kirby.

And, my first thought upon looking at Kirby was: cute.

Naturally, that thought got out of hand really quick, as I found myself standing up and grabbing hold of the pink, fuzzy, and cute beachball with red shoes and flipper-arms. Despite the fact that I was looking at a cartoon character in real life, Kirby wasn’t horrific in the slightest. His existence was that of a living, breathing plushy, while I remained a disgusting human being bereft of any redeeming qualities whatsoever. 

So, I looked at Kirby.

“Poyo.”

I stared at Kirby.

“Poyo?”

I  glared at Kirby.

“Poyo!”

Until Kirby hit me with one of his flippers… in an slap that surprisingly felt like I’d been hit by a hand, instead of a pink flipper.

“Sorry. I was making sure you were real.” Naturally, upon being slapping, my Japanese male instincts kicked in and I apologized without thinking.  With my shame dealt with, I moved to pick Kirby up again, only to be rebuffed as he slid away from my grasp. Damn you, hands, why can’t you be faster so I can adore and stare at the living mascot in front of me!? Oh, huh, I forgot that Kirby had an “angry” face. It’s adorable, but also capable of making me take a step back and reevaluate my decisions. “Okay, I’ll admit it. You’re so cute that I want to hug you until I die. It’s best that you stay away from me.”

“Poyo.” To my words, the sweet sound of affirmation came forth. Honestly, I could’ve died happy knowing that Kirby existed and approved of a single thing that I did. However, fate had other things in store, and Kirby waddled to turn (cute) and pointed (cute) at the skyline. “Poyo!”

I expected to see Babel, instead I looked upon what could only be a world straight out of several fantasies… smashed together haphazardly into a horrific mélange of stages. Not only that, but in the sky and replacing the sun, was a giant sphere of composed of transparent hexagonal panels… holding within itself chains composed of rainbows swirling mind-bendingly around an orb of light. 

“What the Hell happened here?” I took a step forward, while also glancing at my surroundings. It was some sort of stone ruin. Moss covered cobble floors, and about half of a circle of arches remained to form a perimeter. However, more importantly, there were signs of battle in the ruin. There were a few signs of battle I didn’t recognize, probably courtesy of Kirby (cute), but plenty of it that I did in the form of scorch marks, the scent of burning ozone, and slagged stone. It looked like I fought here. Hard. “Did I fight you for some reason?”

Do I still get to call myself Japanese if a raise a hand in anger against Kirby? Is that legal? If it is, I demand a law be passed in order for it not to be, and for pre-emptive punishment to be cast upon my person. Does that violate my rights as a human being? Yes, if I’m human. Who the heck can hurt Kirby and call themselves human!? 

Thankfully, my humanity remained intact, as Kirby shook his entire body to signal “no” and pointed at what I thought was a broken, old statue.

Instead I found myself looking upon a copy of me wrought in iron, lacking arms, legs, and a lower jaw and color, but otherwise perfectly made in my image.

Then, it twitched and tried to extend a missing hand at me.

I reacted appropriately to the sight and turned it into molten metal.

“Okay. I have no clue what’s happening, but there’s stages in front of us, a giant boss battle looming over our heads, and apparently copies of me with my powers exist, while you’re here.” I reviewed the information assembled in my brain, while patting Kirby’s head for emotional support in regards to suppressing my building panic, and came up with a solution to the problem. “I have no clue what to do, or why I’m here, so you just lead the way and I’ll help you fight whoever we come up against, deal?”

Shove all responsibility to the individual with the most experience in fighting giant bosses, navigating terrible places, and winning.

i.e. Kirby.

“Poyo poyo!” With a stalwart salute and a resolute look upon his face, Kirby immediately began waddling away at good speed into the distance. Did I have a lot of questions that I needed answered? Totally, but I wasn’t going to risk my life asking stupid questions. I’m out of by depth, the situation’s utterly alien, and I’ve been rescued by a veteran. Therefore, I’m going to leave everything to the professional.  “Poyo!”

“Got it. You lead the way and I follow.” Kirby looked surprised at my ability to comprehend his speech, but after a moment gave a smile and sped up. His feet became a whirling blur, and he began to kick up dust on the trail he was following, but I kept up. I didn’t know what my circumstances were, but I still had plenty of Endurance and Agility to spare. “Don’t be afraid to go faster, if you need to!”

“Poyo!”

That was definitely a “got it, Hachiman, you’re the best!”-poyo and you can’t tell me otherwise, since Kirby proceeded to double his pace, while I continued to match him. 

As I followed him, and as my mind kept making glances towards the immense final boss thing hovering above us, I saw a single flash of the past.

Orario being swept away by a wall of light.