Swordsman's adventure 24

The Revolutionary Army was organized as any military would be: with an overall commander in the Ex-Admiral Monkey D. Dragon, a series of geographically limited subcommanders, one for each sea, cell leaders who oversee individual operations, in this case countries that they are working on supporting local revolutions, and then each individual operation has its own command structure underneath that cell leader. Each commander has a deputy commander directly underneath them, with Dragon’s subcommander being the Chief of Staff. Currently, this role was filled by a flamboyant man with a gambling problem by the name of Raise Max. 

In this case, the Grand Line’s subcommander was a man named Sabo, a recent replacement when the old subcommander and his deputy got captured and sent to Impel Down. His Deputy was a lovely girl named Koala, and neither of them were currently present in the Ishgar Archipelago. Instead, the cell leader was Terry Gilteo, and he was in charge of all matters relevant to the Revolutionary’s actions on the Ishgar Archipelago. 

“See that cove?” Lucy asked, pointing in the distance. 

“Yep.” Tanya said idly as she steered the ship. “There appears to be a hazard that you’ve yet to warn me about, though.” She added. 

“Don’t worry about that.” Lucy said, drawing a basket-hilt sabre and pointing it at the line of spikes protecting the cove. “Key-key open!” She shouted, and the sword transformed into a key. She twisted it, and the fortification pushed itself aside. 

Once inside, the cove revealed itself to be exactly what she expected of a Revolutionary outpost: basically the same as any military camp in the Empire, but with snails instead of radios. 

Terry was a man in his late 20s that was of a fairly serious disposition, broken up only by his amusing plush kangaroo hat. She’s heard the story of why he wears it: it is not a fun story. “You’re lucky I’ve read Wax’s report, Heart.” Terry said, shooting out cigarette smoke out of his nostrils. “Else I might have panicked to see one of the World Government’s attack dogs come here.”

“Come now, I don’t have to do anything the World Government tells me to.” Tanya corrected; “I’m but a simple pirate, here to do business. I bring supplies for your operations, and ask merely for appropriate restitution for my services.”

Kuina looked around, impressed. “There’s a lot of people here…” She commented. 

“It’s called the Revolutionary Army for a reason.” Lucy said proudly. 

Terry spent a few moments staring into Tanya’s eyes, presumably judging her sincerity. “I’m not going to say no to supplies.” He eventually said, “Come on, I have to get the bean counters in on this.” Terry rubbed out his cigarette and walked towards another portion of the cove, where there was a group of revolutionaries going over paperwork. 

In addition to the revolutionaries, there was someone who was substantially better dressed than them; presumably a local collaborator. He was clearly not a young man but still lacked any ravages from age, so she’d pin him at mid-30s. He was bald, with a small moustache and a thin beard that went down to his belly. He had robes of fine silk on, and strong fists on the table he sat at, with impeccable posture. He was frowning. “Mr. Gilteo, what is the meaning of this? This is highly irregular! Who is this boy you’ve brought before us?” Tanya smiled. 

“Jura, this is Princess Tanya of the Grimm Kingdom.” Terry said blandly, “Tanya, this is Supreme Judge Jura of Fiore. Neither of you want to be caught helping us, so it’s fair.”

“A pleasure, Your Honor.” Tanya said politely, “I’m just profiteering, don’t mind me. I have military supplies available, guns, swords, munitions… I’m afraid I’m a little light on food, but I suspect that won’t be a problem.” From Lucy’s complaints, for the most part, the Revolutionary Army only operated in places where they could get local collaborators, and that meant they only had problems with food supplies if the local populace was also starving. Which they weren’t, to her understanding. She stocked up on some food, but prices weren’t low enough for her to anticipate a good profit so she only bought enough for the crew with a generous safety margin. 

Jura’s eyes widened. “That… would be useful. Thank you for your support, Princess.”

“Don’t thank me yet.” Tanya said with a patronizing grin. “We have yet to come together on the matter of payment. While I agree in principle on the importance of self-determination both on a personal and national level…” Also that the Celestial Dragons should be lined up and shot, that too. “-I have no stake in this conflict. I’m undertaking a rather sizable risk by coming here, so I expect to be compensated appropriately.” In other words, she has no qualms about charging notorious criminals more than she would people who have the ability to shop around. 

“Which is why I brought her here.” Terry explained, “Seeing as it’s your money we’re spending, Jura.”

The judge scowled. “Don’t remind me… Twenty years as a judge-” Tanya immediately revised her estimate of his age.  “-and I have to resort to piracy. It’s unjust!”

“He stole the Celestial Tribute for us.” Lucy whispered into Tanya’s ear. “Sent it off and seized it himself with a ship using our colors.” Hm. Escorting the Celestial Tribute usually involves a Vice Admiral, although only putting a Rear Admiral or three to escort it instead was relatively common. He did seem on the strong side… 

Wait… “Is that why the taxes went up so much?” Tanya asked. 

“No.” Jura insisted, “That happened first, it was highly irregular. King Precht is a tyrant whose only care is that his patrons in Marejois get every scrap of wealth in Ishgar.”

Tanya hummed vaguely. “Well, as long as it spends just the same, I don’t see any issue in accepting such a payment.” Really, thinking long-term, if the World Government got a bit too secure in their position, they may do something that would negatively impact her own life; specifically, revoking the Royal Warlord program. It’s not like what she’s doing is even specifically illegal; the World Government’s laws on financial crimes are absurdly weak in her opinion. Jura’s in it deep, of course, but merchants have little to no responsibility to authenticate the provenance of their purchased goods; it was one of the reasons why the slavery trade flourished despite being nominally illegal: if the paperwork called it an employment contract, the ruinous terms didn’t actually matter, and if the payment that the paperwork said was to given to the family of the new slave was not passed on by the slavers… well, it wasn’t the slave merchant’s fault that the slaver didn’t fulfill his end of the bargain. They’re just a humble “employment consultant”. Sickening. It was also not innately a crime to do business with pirates or revolutionaries… unless the government decided you were colluding with them.

Rather typically of tyrannical governments, if a Marine with enough rank decided that you were now an outlaw, there was really very little that could be done about it, and if you were part of a protected class, you could ignore the nominal laws with impunity, only the barest justifications were required of you to get off scot free. 

Needless to say, Tanya would claim to have been doing business with the Honorable Judge Jura and not the Revolutionary Army, taking payment in what she was assured were legitimate funds. Even that would only come out if a Vice-Admiral personally questioned her, she can basically ignore anyone less. She was against nepotism on principle, but she never let her principles compromise her good sense. 

She was led to a side-cavern, where the typical crates and chests that constituted a Celestial Tribute were placed. They were even still stamped. Hm. “...You did destroy the trackers they put on these, right?” She inquired. Little-known fact: Every Celestial Dragon had a trackable ID chip so you can’t just murder them in secret. They used this technology on a lot of things of direct interest to the World Government, and the Celestial Tribute was not an exception. However, unlike killing a Celestial Dragon, stealing the Tribute will not automatically get an Admiral on you. Just whatever the World Government has on hand, which is usually already guarding it so if you know to ditch the trackers and have the know-how to find them all it’s as easy to get away with as any other act of piracy. 

“Of course I did.” Judge Jura said, insulted. 

“We also sent some actual agents with him, they handled that.” Lucy added helpfully. 

“Good, because despite my nominal immunity, I’m not exactly thrilled by the thought of getting caught here.” Tanya said drily. “If I piss off the World Government enough, they’ll eventually decide I’m more trouble than Father’s worth. As such, don’t expect any sort of discount from me, Lucy.”

The key-woman waved Tanya’s reproachful tone off. “Let’s just get down to business.”

With a quick inspection, Tanya found four treasure chests full of silver, after a quick inspection she estimated them to be worth forty million beri each. “This should be enough.” She declared, picking one up and directing Lucy to pick up one and Kuina to grab the other two. As the girl’s shoulders were substantially broader than Tanya’s, she could, with effort, lift them with one arm each. She had grown a lot more comfortable with her missing leg after Crocus upgraded her prosthetic mount and she got a whole week of practice with it; she walked with no discernable limp as she lifted the heavy boxes. 

“That seems a bit much.” Jura said, frowning as they walked back to her ship. 

“I know what I have and this is my price.” Tanya said firmly. “Now you can inspect the goods and we can negotiate from there.”

“This is highly irregular.” Jura murmured. 

“Well, she can probably kill us all so be happy she’s a friend.” Terry murmured. Now that wasn’t nice to say! It was true, but still…

“Hey now, the only friend I have here is Lucy.” Tanya protested, “The rest of you are just customers.”

“We go way back!” Lucy bragged, “She saved me from getting sold to be some Celestial Dragon’s eighth wife.” Hm, she must have done some research. 

“Inbred hicks.” Tanya groused, “Did you know the last time I was in Mariejois, Saifu nearly got eaten by Figarland Shamrock’s damned mutt?” Why did such an awesome object-that’s-also-a-dog have to be wasted on such an asshole? He was a shitty dog trainer, too. Saifu was much more obedient, and knew more tricks. 

“You may have written about it before.” Lucy giggled, “Five times.” What can she say? She was really mad at Saifu’s almost-death. The only thing stopping her from having killed the guy was the fact that he was unfortunately stronger than her. Father had to intercede in their duel. It was for the best; Garling probably would have stopped her, and if she did manage it she wouldn’t have lived much longer. They passed it off as Shodai Kitetsu misbehaving, and they had left on King Elizabello’s ship with the Figarlands under the impression that she was a gentle soul who only possessed killing intent when urged by the temperamental blade. Nonsense, she may be peace-loving but she was by no means gentle… but it was useful for them to think that. 

Saifu, having heard her name, popped her head out of the rest of her bag form, giving everyone a big doggy grin, tongue lolling out. Lucy’s short ponytail lengthened, the end turning into a key, moving to scratch Saifu’s ears. From the sound behind her, Saifu’s tail had decided to join the party and was wagging furiously. Tanya turned her head, as her hands were still full, and after pursing and smacking her lips to prompt the dog to lean forward, gave Saifu a kiss on the snout. 

“Highly irregular…” She heard Jura mumble, practically pouting as they walked up the gangplank that Swabbie had helpfully lowered for them. 

Tanya, Kuina, and Lucy deposited the chests on the deck. “Kuina? Do you think you can handle coordinating the humandrills to get all of our weaponry stock out of the hold?”

Kuina looked to the side, laughing nervously. She had been picking up HSL much less ably than Ace and Deuce were. Ace was learning very quickly, though, so it wasn’t really fair to compare them. 

Sighing, Tanya started walking to the cargo hold’s deck entrance. “Then you get to entertain our guests while I do it, then.” She pointed to Swabbie and Yari, who didn’t seem to be occupied with anything important, and signed for them to help her unload the cargo. Then, she undid the latch and opened up the trap door, dropping down into the cargo hold. 

Tanya liked to think that she kept the cargo hold reasonably organized. There was a section for the artillery shells, another section for materials meant for the making of more artillery shells and for Kuina’s swordsmithing. Hm, note to self: get more quality steel, there’s not much left for Kuina to use. There was a section for other supplies meant for the crew, there was a section for the alcohol… and the rest was all dedicated to Tanya’s purchases. This hold was actually pretty crowded, it was the primary hold. The secondary hold was right below this one, and it was the one that was insulated by ceramic panels for use of the forge. The gun deck was currently additional cargo space, it was much less crowded but also lacked a roof access like this one did, and if all else failed the “brig” was, while equipped with shackles and cells, mostly supposed to be used for exceptionally secure storage; it was more accurately labeled the ship’s vault. The only reason it was even there is because the ship was modified from a more general design meant to be built as their primary warship.  

All told, she had paid ten million for the guns and ammunition, and thought she got a pretty good deal; it was really more like fifteen’s worth before her excellent haggling and the power move of buying out the gunsmith’s entire stock. She could have sold the stuff to any of the Marine bases in the East Blue who needed a resupply and easily expected to get at least forty for the lot. 

In addition, Kuina’s swordsmithing endeavors did produce another Graded Blade, Shikatta, although she chose to keep it so it will not be sold, at least until she created one she liked better. Her failed attempts were still fine blades, and she could have easily gotten another ten million from the Marines for the hundred or so blades she had managed to forge in three months or so since Tanya brought the smith along.

As long as she can keep at least three of these chests, she’ll consider her sale successful. She picked out the relevant crates one by one, handing it off to Yari, who then passed it up to Swabbie. Once all of the crates were above deck, she hopped up through the “Two hundred rifles from the foundries of the Goa Kingdom, a solid design at a high quality, if unimpressive technologically.” She plucked one of the rifles from the crate. “Saifu, powder.” The dog produced a powder horn. “Ball shot.” She added, and a pouch was deposited as well. “It has an internal wheel-scoop system that permits five shots per reload and an expectation of one hundred shots before the serpent flint needs replacement.” Despite being flintlock, even the most basic of firearms in this world were semi-automatic. 

Tanya demonstrated how to load the rifle, an irritatingly complex task that even her skilled hands couldn’t manage in less than thirty seconds. There was a reason she had given Dr. Vegapunk the secrets of cartridge ammunition, and it was because she hated having to load these damned flintlocks. 

Still, it was an expected annoyance, so her audience didn’t immediately dismiss the quality of the arms just because she thought that this would be a dealbreaker. “Call out a target.” Tanya requested, “According to the design specifications, this has an effective range of three hundred meters, but a skilled hand could push that to five hundred if needed.” Haki could enhance it further, of course. She could probably shoot two kilometers with this thing if she pushed herself. 

Terry, clearly having bought firearms before, immediately pointed to a spot on the far side of the cove. “That’s the furthest point you can see from here, it’s about four hundred meters. Jura? Throw something.”

Jura looked around, and Tanya snapped her fingers. “Sock.” Saifu presented a sock. She didn’t recognize it, so it was clearly stolen. “There’s a water barrel here, just a little pour…” After she got the wet sock, she passed it to Jura. “Would this be suitable?”

The judge weighed the damp cloth, and nodded. He balled it up and, with a heave of his muscular arm, threw it. After three seconds, the faint sound of the sock impacting the far wall was heard.

Tanya spent that time lining up her shot, though, so she immediately fired the rifle after the sound was registered, her keen eyes still able to spot the cloth’s small descent. Direct hit. “Saifu. Fetch.” She commanded, and the backpack immediately shifted into full dog form, scrambled up on top of Tanya’s head, and launched herself off, sending Tanya’s hat flying. Saifu bounded around, easily bolting past moving legs and over thick groups of people with her zoan-blessed agility. 

By the time Tanya had picked her hat back up, Saifu had returned, a wet sock with some fresh holes in it in her mouth. Saifu barked in pride, dropping the sock as she wagged her tail furiously.

“Good girl.” Tanya said, rubbing the dog’s ears as she picked the sock up. “As you can see, it was a direct hit.”

Terry huffed in laughter after seeing it. “I had no idea you were such a sharpshooter, Princess. Yes, we’re interested in these guns.”

“In addition to these, I have also brought one hundred pistols, with four shots per reload and sixty shots before replacement flint.” They were proportionately heftier to compensate for the shorter barrel, so that reduced the operational lifetime. Tanya showed off the loading process and allowed Jura to toss some skeet for her to break with the pistol. “Effective range is about a fifth of the rifle, but the benefits of an easier draw and one-handed wielding cannot be underestimated.” They’re meant for short range anyway. 

Terry didn’t seem as interested in that display. “Never liked pistols, but yeah, we need those too.”

“Finally, we come to the heavy weaponry. Forty-eight bazookas, a little underpowered in my opinion but they’re probably not going to break your soldiers arms for trying to use them.” This is where the East Blue manufacturer really held back the quality of the resulting firearm: sure, it’ll do substantially more damage than the rifles would, but there were much better heavy guns out there. Her personal rifle had more punch than this thing did. 

Not that she let that opinion show on her face. She allowed them an inspection of the weapon and the ammo, but declined to demonstrate. Terry seemed much more interested in these. “Never can have too many bazookas, as I always say.”

Still, Tanya continued: “These all come with service kits, including powder horns and a supply of replacement parts for extended campaigns. In addition, I am selling thirty barrels of powder, feel free to inspect the seals, and seven crates of shot: three for the rifles, one for the pistols, and three for the bazookas.” As suggested, Lucy and Terry spent some time looking over her sealed powder barrels, satisfied that the contents remained dry and usable. She had apparently built up enough trust that they didn’t bother risking the product by inspecting it beyond a quick hand-weighing. “Finally, there are these fine steel swords, these three crates hold thirty each.” There were a few left over, but she didn’t bring them out. 

The swords were inspected, verified in quality after Tanya performed a few tricks to show off their sharpness, even demonstrating a weak flying slash to prove that the weapons were above par in durability, even if they were not Graded blades. “Naturally, they come with more maintenance kits. Whetstones, oil, silk cloth, the usual.” Selling the weapons themselves was one thing, but she knew that these were the real prize for them: Lucy had complained that most criminal weapons merchants didn’t bother selling the same complete package that the legitimate military industrial complex did. They had to buy these things separately a lot of the time. 

Terry and Jura went to the side and held a whispered conversation. Lucy and Kuina, on the other hand, were deep in conversation about something or other, Lucy’s animated talking and Kuina’s luminescent blush substantially narrowing the potential topics. Once again, she was thankful that Ace didn’t decide to come with; Lucy’s teasing would have been legendary. 

Tanya just started to chat with the humandrills, asking Swabbie if he or any of the others had noticed any problems with the ship or the supplies since she had last checked. Apparently, Ace had accidentally burned parts of the ship then fixed it. Troubling, but after a moment of thought it was just the natural consequence of bringing a fire logia on board. Still, she should up his control training…

“Okay, Princess.” Terry said, a stern look on his face. Jura crossed his arms, staring intimidatingly at her. “While we could definitely use these goods, your price is too high. This stuff isn’t even worth half of what you’re asking.”

“If I wanted to sell at market value, I’d have gone to the Marines. I still can, if you don’t want to pay my prices.” Tanya retorted, “But if you wish to claim poverty and take your bullion off of my ship, I suppose we could trim some of the less necessary items.” She picked up the crate of sword care kits. “I’m sure your revolution will be finished before you’ll find yourself needing these whetstones.”

Terry’s eyes widened in panic, his kangaroo hat almost falling off of his head. “Hey now, let’s not be hasty…”

“Then which will you be taking off of my ship?” Tanya asked, “The weapons you need now, or the money that might, in the future, be able to get you more weapons?” She held up her hand and started counting fingers. ‘You know, assuming that you can find a merchant with such weapons, who is willing to do business with the Revolutionary Army, who won’t upcharge you even more, in a reasonable time frame.” She shrugged. “I’m sure you would have a better idea than I how likely you’d be able to do that.” Just because she’d be happy with only three of the chests doesn’t mean she won’t shoot for all four. It’s just business. 

Jura scowled, and Terry rubbed his hat, putting the brim over his eyes. “...Fine.” He said, “Unload the weapons.”

Tanya made a pleased sound as she picked up the chests of bullion and brought them into her cabin, Swabbie helped. She’ll stash them in the vault after she’s finished with the accounting of their new income. 

Now, for the second reason she was here. 

-------------------------

As Lucy had said, there wasn’t anyone in Ishgar that was part of the Revolutionary’s actions in the now-Free Nation of Columbia, but there was supposedly someone who knew someone who did: 

“I tell you honey, that was some fabulous action, my girl told me all about it, mmm-hmm.” Larry was a large man, three meters tall, that wore a tight leather vest, short-shorts, leggings held up by a garter belt, high heels, and nothing else. His muscles were both large and hairy, and his hair was a collection of well-tended black curls. 

In other words, he was an okama. The World Government and the Celestian church didn’t look kindly on homosexuals or other similar deviants, so it was no surprise that the Revolutionary Army used that to gather loyal supporters simply by allowing them to dress as flamboyantly as they wanted and otherwise be themselves. It was also the main reason that she was still willing to wear dresses if the need arose; she needed more than just bindings and loose clothing if she wanted to reclaim her original gender without giant headaches arising from the attempt. 

“I’m more interested in a particular rumor.” Tanya said, “I haven’t been able to verify it, which does make some sense, as news stories related to revolutionary victories are frequently purged from archives by Cipher Pol, but if you could verify its veracity, it would save me the trip.”

They were in the ‘bar’ section of the revolutionary’s cove, enjoying some drinks around a table in the middle of the room. Tanya had a glass of wine, Lucy had a beer, Kuina ordered some sake, was told they didn’t have any, and instead accepted a beer. Larry had a fruity mixed drink that actually looked rather good. 

“Not sure I can help you, sugar, but hit me.” Larry said, twirling a lock of his hair as he looked at Kuina, who was staring at him in confusion. Larry was clearly the first okama she had ever met. He winked at her with his thick eyelashes, which left the swordswoman red in the face. 

“The former King.” Tanya began, “Who abandoned rulership. What happened to him, and why? There are conflicting reports.”

Larry perked up. “Oh! I know what happened to her!” Well that was a good sign. “She was given a miracle and was able to live happily as her true self.”

“So the rumors were true…” Tanya murmured performatively. “The next question, of course, is how this happened. Was it a devil fruit?”

“Of course it was, sweetie!” Larry said, giggling and waving off her confusion as silly. “It was the work of the Miracle Person, the Queen of the Kamabakka Queendom, Emporio Ivankov!” Oh, another Wanogo loanword. This one means ‘Full of Transvestites’. 

Now they’re getting somewhere. “I see. So the logical next step in my investigation would be this Kamabakka Queendom. Where is it?”

“Now normally, that’d be a bit of a secret.” Larry demured. “But for you, candy boy, I’ll talk: It’s on Momoiro island, the place where those with the heart of a maiden gather. They’d love to meet a handsome prince like yourself.” 

Tanya blushed. Okay, so maybe her interest was a bit transparent. “I think I recall that name from my maps.” She said instead, “Spring Island, six islands deep on the Foolshout island route?”

“That sounds right.” Larry confirmed, “But alas, the Miracle Person won’t be there. You should still come by, of course, say hello, have some delicious Attack Cuisine, but miracles can no longer be found.”

She knew this was too easy. “That’s unfortunate, for a place to be without their leader.” Tanya said neutrally. “May I ask what happened?”

“Ivankov was the leader of the Grand Army before Sabo.” Lucy supplied, “He’s been with the Army since the start, and was imprisoned in Impel Down a few years ago. According to our sources… he vanished from the prison, presumed dead.”

Larry wiped some tears from his eyes. “We still hold out hope that Miracles still exist in the world, but every day with no news is another arrow in our fragile hearts!”

“Do you happen to have information on his devil fruit?” Tanya asked, “If the worst has occurred, and I come across it, I promise the Kamabakka Queendom the right of first refusal for its sale.”

“You’re a sweetie.” Larry complimented, pinching Tanya’s cheek. “The Fruit of Miracles is the Horm-Horm fruit, and do you have some paper?” Saifu, being smart enough to recognize when someone was asking for an object and having that particular object be in her vocabulary of commands, popped her head out with some paper in her mouth. “Good girl.” Larry said, taking the paper and rubbing Saifu’s ears. “Pen?” Larry asked, and Saifu produced one. 

With delicate motions, Larry reproduced what was clearly an image from the Devil Fruit Encyclopedia. It appeared to be an apple with thick, bulky swirls. “It’s a dark purple that’s a bit reddish. Not too dark, though.”

“Excellent penmanship.” Tanya idly complimented as she reviewed it, trying to fill in the color with her imagination. 

“Tanya’s an artist herself.” Lucy added, “You should see her sketches of all the infamous pirates and famous marines she’s met over the years.”

“I’d love to.” Larry gushed, giddily getting up. “Can I see them?” He asked. 

Well, she supposed there’s no harm in it. Besides, Larry’s provided her with a new goal in her quest. The only question was: Does she eat the fruit herself? She can think of all kinds of uses for hormone manipulation… It has been so long since she experienced the wondrous rush of her reflex enhancement formulas… How much greater would the effects be on her current level of strength? Could she make herself bigger? Apply steroids? 

She’ll have to cross that bridge when she gets there.