Prompt 23

Today we buried our one true lord, God - in the town of Scobey, Montana.  Not having much else to bring in people [or business], the gravesite will provide much needed traffic to the secluded area.  A gargantuan gravestone depicting a giant penny [American 1-cent piece] was placed to signify God’s final resting place.  Those in attendance were unsure if this was some sort of metaphor or if God was actually a giant penny where the mouth on Lincoln would move when speaking.  

The service was well catered and many were overheard saying, “God was great, God was good - let us thank him for our food.  Ay, man, how ya been?  Cheryl is actually still at the salon, yeah, she’s looking for something with less hours”

Many important figures were invited to speak at the event and all attended [with the notable exception of Oprah].  Timothy Olyphant gave a particularly moving speech on God’s ability to forgive while still funding Hell on the side.  Character actor Brad Dourif recited a colorful anecdote about the similarities between babies and the elderly.  Ian McShane was behind the bar passing out drinks.  In fact, looking back, it seems a lot of the cast from the show Deadwood was present. Which is not surprising, as it was God’s #3 favorite show [Right behind Gudetama and The Wire]

In an attempt to appease all parties, the Lord made sure They were perceived differently depending on the individual.  Thinking this would generally make people happy, the fallen God was criticized with not “picking a side” and most felt “slightly betrayed” by this effort to make everyone feel good.

The new Lord of Creation is expected to be sworn in tomorrow afternoon.  The fact that no new god has been found yet has raised some concern in the community.  Many have been quoted as calling the job “stupid” and “redundant” criticizing it by saying “what’s the point of having all that power if you’re not even gunna smite anyone or make it rain frogs or some shit.  God is boring now”

It was a private reception.
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