Prompt 43 [part 4]

Alice ducked past a low hanging branch and took one step into the lush wilderness before her.  This forest was magical.  There were songbirds that sounded like windchimes, bushes bursting with bulbous berries, and flowers that seemed to be alive and singing!  For the first time since she arrived in Wackyworld, Alice was excited for what was ahead.  That made it all the more shame when Alice fell down a mysterious hole on her second step.

As Alice fell, she reasoned that this was the same phenomenon that the off-white squirrel encountered when she first arrived.  Alice didn’t know what happened to the squirrel [What was his name?  Let’s say Dave] - Alice didn’t know what happened to Dave but she assumed the worst. She could remember the look of sheer terror in Dave’s eyes as he noticed there was no ground below him.  She remembered his chirpy little scream as he fell [to what she assumed to be his doom].  And just as Alice was thinking this, she thought maybe she saw Dave falling with her on the left - but, alas - she was moving too quickly to be sure.

Time went on and Alice began to wonder how long she had been falling.  She wondered if she would hit any sort of bottom any time soon [it didn’t seem like it].  She then started to wonder if she was ever NOT falling.  Sure, she had memories of a light beige squirrel and a cute but kooky dormouse [and for some reason recalling ivory tusks seemed to excite her in a peculiar way] but she couldn’t be sure.  Alice remembered learning that dreams can sometimes be mistaken for memories because your brain can get confused.  Something about just because a dream is fake, it doesn’t lessen the emotional potency.  Alice couldn’t remember any more details from the podcast, but it was definitely something like that.

As she considered this possibility, she wondered how she was born in the hole to begin with.  If her mother was a craggy crevice, was her father a falling boulder?  Perhaps a flat sheet of slate or a rolling piece of limestone?  But then again, she was fleshy and soft - not earthy and jagged.

Just then, Alice noticed a bag coming up from below her.  She may have been able to reach it if she tried, but Alice saw no need to make an attempt.  It looked like a doctor's bag, but larger.  It was made of fine, tanned leather and had a large zipper and two buckles to seal away its contents.  She wondered if it was Dave’s bag [that’s what we’ve named the Squirrel, remember?] but she could only recall Dave fiddling with a sundial.  Soon enough, the bag flew out of her reach and continued to float above her as she continued to fall down.

After a few more minutes [or days], Alice saw a small old man with tiny round glasses you’d expect to see on a cartoon owl. 

“Oh, company!  I never have company!” hooted the man.

Falling all around the old man were a plethora of mismatched items.  Most of these items were shoes but some of them were bookshelves [with books], bottles of wine, various wooden barrels and a few different sets of clippers.  The old man would occasionally try and keep these things near him, as if to create the illusion that he was in a room with no walks, walls or ceilings [remember - we’re still falling, at this point]

“You didn’t happen to see a bag of supplies while you were falling did you?”

“In a tanned leather bag with two buckles?”  Alice said back, using her diaphragm to project.

“Yes, and a zipper!  That’s the one - did you happen to grab it?” the man responded, hopefully.

“I’m afraid I did not,” Alice said with such clear diction.  “It didn’t belong to me and I wouldn’t want to take what isn’t mine” she added thoughtfully [and truthfully].

“Oh, I didn't consider that,” replied the old man.  “I suppose I should be quite mad at you if you did take them”

There was a pause as the man looked around with some disappointment.

“Are you staying?” he shouted

“What?!” Alice bellowed back. 

“I just wanted to know if you're staying.  I think I have some sparkling grape juice somewhere.  I'd offer you a cab, but I don't think you'd appreciate it”

“A taxi cab?” Alice asked, confused

“Ah, yes.  Exactly”  smiled the miniature elder

There was another pause as the old man began to open the closest barrel

“Well, if you're not staying then I imagine you'll want to move on”

“How do I stop falling?” Alice cried out

“That's the idea!” the old man hollered back.  After a bit of rummaging, he pulled out a pair of ruby red slippers.  They were shimmering and breathtaking.  They were divine and sublime.  They weren't wacky at all - they were wonderful. 

“You'll have to put these on.  Then, just click your heels together three-” the old man let out a horrendous sneeze.  It shook him to the very core [but also felt kind of good].  His body convulsed and his wrist flickered and the red gem shoes flew out of his hands and up into the abyss.

“Ah, well.  That would have been too easy, I suppose” he shrugged. “Still pretty odd that I sneezed… can't remember the last time that happened.  Pretty bad moment for it”

Alice was inclined to agree.

“Okay, okay - it's fine. I've got a second pair somewhere.  They're silver!”

But at that very moment, the silver slippers slipped out of the open barrel and kicked the old man in the chin as they soared past him.

“Ah… well, now I'm out of easy solutions” he admitted.  “What's your name, child?”

“I'm Alice” said Alice [truthfully].  “Who are you?”

“They call me the Crazy Cobbler.  I'm part of the Guild of Unstable Tradesmen.  Although, I haven't been to a meeting for some time, as I have been falling down this hole for what seems like decades”

“How long ago did you fall?” Alice asked

“When I was 15,” replied the aged man. 

Alice suddenly remembered she didn't belong in this hole. She was not born in here.  She had fallen too.  She was suddenly very scared she would grow old here like the Crazy Cobbler.

“I really, really want to get back to the world!” Alice volleyed to the man

“Have you tried doing something or have you simply continued to fall?”

“I don’t… what can I do?”  Alice was starting to sound desperate

“No need to sound so desperate, child!  It’s okay.  You’ll notice we haven’t hit terminal velocity - we still ‘feel’ as though we’re falling.  Very abnormal - very unscientific”

Alice knew about terminal velocity thanks to a podcast she could half-remember about skydiving.

“Now if you want to get to the bottom, I imagine a swan dive should do the trick.  Hold all your weight together and shape your body like so”

The old man finagled his body into that of an upside down diver to illustrate his point to Alice.

“Like this but the opposite way”

“What’s at the bottom?  Will I be smushed?”  Alice asked, only half caring.  She would try anything at this point.

“I assume you’ll either die a horrible death or make it out with relative ease!  You know, I thought for the longest time this hole was some sort of metaphor but I really do think it’s just a hole with anomalistic gravity!”

“I don’t particularly care” responded Alice, quite honestly.

“Same!  I quite like it here.  It beats living out there.  And as soon as I find my bag, I’ll make some more shoes to pass the time.  Farewell, Alice!  Give my regards to the guild if you see any of them!”

Alice felt the wind rushing past her as she dove further down.  She only fell faster, and faster, and faster.  This time she was sure she saw Dave on her left, but Alice didn’t even turn her head for fear of slowing down.  The end of the hole was getting closer - she was doing it.  She could see something solid coming towards her.  She was bound to hit it.  

Alice took a deep breath and kept her eyes wide open.  If these were her last moments, she wanted to see them coming.