Prompt 43 [part 5]

The Queen was watching Jack’s first moments as a praying mantis.  These were the moments that held the most variance.  After the pheromones hit, it was the same show over and over.  

There were three basic reactions and a fourth that was not so common.  The most common reaction was that of confusion.  Jack would look down and see not human hands but a tarsus and a tibia connected to a sleek, green femur.  Then they noticed their abdomen and horror came over them as they would continue to move different body parts in a futile exploration for flesh.  The second reaction was that of flight.  These Jacks never even realize they’re bugs.  Once they see they are out of their cells, they immediately make a break for it.  Mantis-lining as fast as they can - as far away from the Queen as possible.  They cover an impressive amount of ground in a short amount of time, but just as they hit the walls of their enclosure they are enraptured by that same primal scent.  The third reaction is that of shock and disbelief.  This is the most boring reaction for everyone [especially the Queen].  The Jack-now-insect simply stands in his new body unable to come to terms with his new [brief] life.  This is also boring for the female and she usually double checks if there are any other mates available before settling for the safe option.  Luckily, not many Jacks go this route.

Even less so, however, is the fourth path - the most entertaining path!  Jack retains all memories, adjusts in the blink of an eye and chooses fight over flight.  He turns around to face the queen and jumps.  The first time this happened, Jack nearly got away.  Lucky for the Queen, the family cat Cashew was still living with her and gobbled Jack up.  The Queen has trained hard since then.  The Jack Mantis would strike like thunder, but the Queen was faster than lightning.  Her dagger in hand, she would parry the attack of the raging creature and pin it to the floor through its pronotum.  There, the Jack would scream and holler and rage at the Queen [or so she imagined - Praying Manti don’t have voices. Don’t be ridiculous] and the Queen would watch as the life drained from the traitorous villain's tiny body.  “I trusted you” she would say just before its vapid life slipped away.  “All I wanted was to help the people and feed my kingdom and I trusted you and you betrayed me.  Nothing is better because of you” she somehow knew the insect could understand her, even if it could not hear words.  

Then she would remove her dagger and leave the room as the mantis died in shame [and it always did - for bugs feel very little pride when defeated].

The Queen held her dagger in anticipation [she could really use a fiery mantic encounter right about now].  However this Jack was not only a traitor but a disappointment.  He stood perfectly still while the Queen sighed.  There was a knock on the door.

“Come in”

She could hear voices on the other side.

“Open it up, Dumbass!”

“What?  Nah, you said you’d get the door, Idiot”

“I said I’d knock and I knocked.  We’re a team.  Now you open the door”

“And you just assume I know how to open doors, Idiot?”

“Are you such a dumbass that you don’t know how to open a door - DUMBASS?”

“Oh, I can open a door you idiotic idiot!”

“Then do it!”

“...”

“...”

“It’s the principle of the thing, you’re always making assumptions about me!”

“YOU DON’T KNOW HOW A DOOR WORKS YOU DUMB DUMBASS!”

The Queen knew this could last a long time so she opened the door herself [which is a very unQueenly thing to do].  The Queen often wondered how Dumbass and Idiot managed to bring her Jacks but decided it was best not to inquire. 

“Hello Dumb and…Di.  What can I do for you?”

Dumbass and Idiot attempted to kneel before the Queen but forgot how to work their knees and ended up in downward dog and frog pose [respectively].

“You highnesty, we’ve come to make report of a specimen intrusion on your kingdom!”

“Yes Majistwa, there is a guest of non-invitation who is amongst us in these lands”

For some reason, Dumbass and Idiot always put on a sort of heightened affectation when speaking to the Queen - the issue being that they lacked the vocabulary to do this with any grace.

“Someone is invading Wackyworld… why on Earth would someone want to come here?”

The Queen realized her mistake too late.  Rhetorical questions had an adverse effect on Dumbass and Idiot. They began to sweat.

“Um, her Majery, the contents of her intentuals are not foreseen”

“Yes - we don’t know her convections at this time, persay”

“She is one of your shape and gander”

“She is of your height and rhyme”

“However, all being none, we do make report to you that she is in the Palace”

The Queen became notably alarmed.

“Not in the palace, Idiot - her name is Palace!”

“Palace isn’t a name, Dumbass.  Anyone who could open a door would know that!”

“Well, I guess that means I wouldn’t know then would I, IDIOT!?”

“Boys, I need you to search the Palace for… um, Palace”

Dumbass and Idiot became silent and attentive, as they always were when the Queen gave them an order.  They really were terrifying things.  It was so hard to tell if they were fat, thin, short or tall. But they were so strong. They had horrifying strength [like water]. She would not want to meet them as anyone other than herself.

“If there is anyone who looks or sounds like me, bring them to me without hurting them.  I want to speak to this Palace myself.”

“Yes, your Queennasty” they said in unison.

“As for your payment for Jack…” 

She reached into her blouse and pulled out a ball of yarn.  It was thick and yellow and quite hard to find, if we’re being honest about it.  She handed it to Idiot [who seemed to be the smarter of the two].

“Just as you requested”

The Jacks said nothing, but slowly made their way to their feet, bowed their heads and backed away until they hit the wall.  The Queen retreated back into her Mantis Chamber and closed the door behind her.  

She looked inside the enclosure.  Another Jack had lost his head.