Prompt 43 [part 9]

*written via phone very late so prepare for more spelling errors than usual*

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Alice had a lovely sleep at the libarry. Genevieve was the kindest person she'd met so far in Wackyworld [abiet a compulsive liar]. Alice didn't really mind liars. It really depends on what they lie about. [What was the last lie you told? Should you have told it?]

Alice was able to cover quite a bit of ground before she was confronted by the faded remnants of a stream below a very posh looking bridge. In front of the bridge were two very round cats standing on their hind legs. They wore clothes like hunters. The larger one was orange with jet black eyes. The smaller one was grey and black with exceptionally chubby cheeks. The smaller one spoke first.

"Hey there, kiddo whattaya know, whattaya say?"

Alice thought about her answer before she spoke [this is almost never a bad idea].

"Well, I think I know about as much as any 7th grader. I get high marks in school. I struggle with both geometry and geography but otherwise, I believe I excel at all other subjects. I am quite good at spelling and give very strong presentations"

Both cats allowed themselves to look quite a bit impressed by this.

"And I say a great many things. I have been speaking for most of my life. I try to say the right thing at the right time but it's not always as obvious as I'd like it to be. Sometimes, when I am exceptionally angry, I will say the wrong thing on purpose. Sometimes I feel guilty about that, but not all the time"

The orange cat seemed satisfied, but the gray cat wasn't quite there yet.

"And how do you spell 'exceptionally'?" he mewed.

"Oh, that's not as hard as it sounds. E-X-C-E-P-T-I-O-N-A-L-L-Y. Exceptionally."

The gray cat's expression changed only slightly but Alice could tell that he was impressed. Perhaps too impressed. So Alice added -

"Which, I'm certain you already knew"

The gray cat seemed to relax.

"Yea... yea I did know that. Well done! Okay, okay. Well, welcome to our bridge. I'm Chedder Cheese and this here is Mac Beef. We look over this here posh bridge and make sure to only let class people come through to the other side. You're getting awfully close to The Queen’s palace around these parts and we can't have no ruffians or dunces fartin' around so close to Her Majesty, ya get me?"

"I understand completely" Alice responded in earnest.

"Well good, good. That clears that up"

There was a brief pause [not "paws" - don't]

"Well, I'm not a ruffian, and I am quite bright... may I pass?"

The gray cat continued to take the lead.

"I gotta talk it over with my partner here, gimmie two shakes of a lambs tail. But a giant lamb - a moon sized lamb! So those tail shakes is gunna take some time, see?"

"No problem." smiled Alice

The two cats formed a small huddle [which was difficult since they were both so spherical] and began to whisper. Alice subtly leaned in to try and hear the bassy voice of the orange cat. She wasn't positive, but it sounded like all he was saying was "Mac Beef" over and over again. His voice was very soothing.

"Okay, toots, here's the sitch. You wanna get to the other side, you gotta show us you got the smarts - the big-time smarts. So me and Mac Beef are gunna give you a riddle here, see? And you're gunna answer the riddle, see? And if you get it right, you can cross our posh bridge here all safe and happy like, see?"

Alice took another look at the feeble stream below. She could easily step from one side to the other and ignore the bridge altogether, but that's not how Wackyworld worked. Alice was starting to feel very at home here.

She smiled at them both and stood at the ready. Mac Beef stepped forward and cleared his throat.

"Ahem... Mac Beef, Mac Beef, Beef Beef Mac. Mac Beef, Mac Beef, Mac Beef Beef. Mac Beef - Beef Mac?"

There was another brief paws [okay, fine haha]

Hmm... very well spoken, Mac Beef. Yes... I see. Would you mind if I heard Chedder Cheese say the riddle, as well? I think perhaps hearing this riddle in a different tone of voice may open my mind to the proper interpretation. Although, may I say you have lovely diction and I very much enjoy your dulcet tones.

Mac Beef didn't know what "dulcet tones" meant, but it felt like a very nice compliment, and he took it as such.

"Yea, yea okay, Miss Tactics, ova here. I see ya, Miss Braniac. Little Miss Smarty-Skirt. Listen closely: What's green and has wheels?"

Normally, Alice couldn't abide riddles. They either made you feel too smart or too stupid. But, like everything else in Wackyworld, she felt a natural response start to form in her young, agile mind.

"Oh, that's a good one. I won't say it's easy, but I do know the answer."

"Mac Beef!"

"Yup. I believe the answer is a wagon"

Cheddar Cheese and Mac Beef were not expecting this answer. To tell you truthfully, Reader, Mac and Cheese had never known anyone who dared to answer their riddle before. In fact, they weren't quite sure what the answer was.

After a few moments of deliberation, Chedder Cheese spoke.

"You said...a wagon?"

"That's right. Oh, I should mention the wagon has been painted green. "

"Ahhhh, okay, okay, I see ya, I hear ya, okay, girly..."

More whispering followed.

"I gotta tell ya, Kiddo. That is one heck of an answer. I think ya got it!"

"Mac Beef!"

"Exactly. And when ya right, ya right, namsayin?"

"I know exactly what you're saying, " Alice prompty replied.

"Well, hells bells! You go ahead and cross our posh bridge her and enjoy your stay in the royal lands. You done a good job, see? A real high IQ on ya, yea."

Alice bowed her head to both cats and crossed the bridge unimpeded. As she turned to wave at Mac and Cheese, she saw a frog attempt to jump over the thin stream of water from one side to the other. At the height of its leap, a rather robust looking tentacle burst from the surrounding mud and pulled the poor anphibian to what was certain to be a very agonizing and excruciating death. Alice had a feeling something like this would happen. She felt bad for the frog, but such is the natural order of things. Rivers need to eat too.

She could see the outline of a large palace in the distance.