Nikki Neudles

Thank God (Satan? 🤔) for AI

Otherwise we may never know what I would look like as a porn star with huge jugs.

BTW, I wasn’t sure if I should post the full image because it is like… extraordinarily graphic. My mind is actually blown that AI can create something so filthy.

Let me know in the comments if you wa...

PS: In case you don’t know me from Threads/IG/IRL…

Just a few nice, normal recent photos of me to prove that I’m a decent and demure, mild-mannered, classy lady IRL, who sometimes forgets to pack her clothes steamer on trips, and oftentimes lacks self-awarenes (see: 🙈). 😇

…It’s all a facade. 👹

I’ve been preparing for my sexy bird cosplay since 2012…

🦩

This is what my hair looks like in the AM

Every single day.

World’s most violent sleeper. 

Blast from Neudles Past

A few fun pictures of me and* my friend Molly back in the day. (2012) 

[on*]

Käsespätzle

TBH, I’m completely mortified that I couldn’t think of the name of this Austro-Hungarian potato pasta dish in my earlier “Lesbian Confession” voice recording post… because I worked at a hugely popular Biergarten for almost 2 years which required a RIGOROUS training in all things food &a...

PSA: I Don’t Hate Women

And a hint hint at my villain origin story. 🦹🏼‍♀️ 

Oh wait— I just remembered my point

And it wasn’t to come on here and make lesbian confessions. 😳

One more smutty selfie…

…for now. Because I’m going into my cave for a little while to work on Patreon content that actually requires me to use my brain, as opposed to everything else that I’ve posted here so far which is mindless trash (but in a good way). 🤓

I had to turn this photo diagonally because it...

This isn’t a porn channel, but if it was…

I would call it “Wet Neudle”. 🍜😛🤡

It’s giving slutty Tinkerbell

🫦🧚‍✨

🍑

I’m still figuring out Patreon’s functionality. This is a screenshot from a video of me trying to be sexy and accidentally tripping. I tried to post the video here, but Patreon only lets you share videos that are hosted on other platforms… Not sure I want this on Youtube so BRB while I play...

Something a lil spicy for your Saturday

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Cosplay Poll

Which theme of sexy cosplay do you guys want to see from me first?? 

Voice recordings…

PS: I know my first 2 voice recording posts were a little rough, but they were off the cuff and I wanted to give you the authentic unpolished Neudles experience as though you are sitting in my passenger’s seat listening to me ramble.
🤓🚘

Neud in bed 🫣

No makeup, no clothes, no shame, no problem. 😎👍

I swear I’m not a raccoon, it’s the lighting. 🦡

The best part is the denim socks

You know about wet dreams, but now get ready for wet nightmares! 🤓

Here’s another absolute AI horror to haunt your life. 

Kill it with fire!!!! 😱🔥

Not all of my attempts to create AI porn were successful.

Let the record show that I DID NOT ask for it to put my face on the character on the right, that was a creative choice by AI.

This AI porn makes me feel weird.

You can tell it’s not real because all 3 of me are missing my gap tooth.

I just want to know why Neudles #1 is dressed like a little boy (which is actually quite realistic for me IRL), but her 2 clone girlfriends are butt naked.

It’s giving nerdy chipmunk

🤓🐿

Give the people what they want!!!

A good look at my little tongue-tied baby tongue and gaptooth, obviously.  👅🤓

Don’t worry everyone…

I’m just messing around on Patreon right now as I play with Patreon’s functionality and build out my brand new page. The good content is coming! I swear this whole page isn’t going to be AI generated porn and shocking selfies.

But as you all know, I’m a pervy teenage boy deep down i...

Ultra Realistic Neudles Sex Doll

🫣

Ok don’t freak out, but…

JK totally freak out. 

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You’re Welcome. 😇

The view you know you came here for. 

Ogle Away…

I promise this is a comedy Patreon, but just a heads up that I added another premium perv tier for all you pervs who came here to ogle me. 

Give the people what they want

An up-close scantily clad look at my recent fitness progress. 

Its not smut, it’s fitness content!! 

Glutes through the years

Give the people what they want!

A totally random collection of photos of one of my best ASSets 🍑

Literally exactly what I look like naked 🙈

Last XXX post before I get to what you actually want to see— comedy!! 

Neudles in Lingerie

Just in case clone orgies aren’t your cup of tea, allow me to indulge your solo Neudles fantasies. 🫦