sweetheartaudio

Official Correspondence of The League of Evil™

Official Correspondence of The League of Evil™
(Evil never sleeps. It monologues.)

Reference: Universe Designation #WV-1337 (NOT "Wayward-verse")
Security Clearance: Questionable
Status: Absolutely Offic...

Someone’s Slurring, and It Isn’t Me (This Time)

Wait a minute...
my stumbling patrons… are you drunk?

You are, aren’t you?
It was the green stuff. It’s always the bloody green stuff.

Well. Not my problem this time. I’m not the one who has to wrangle you.

That honour goes to your best friend. 2025-06-24 00:03:58 +0000 UTC View Post

One Remembers Everything. One Remembers Nothing. You’re Doomed Either Way.

So, captive patrons… who exactly do you want holding you hostage this time?

It’s an ex. Obviously. But what flavour?

Two ex-lovers. Two cellars. One of them?
Remembers everything and planned it.

The other… might’ve done something terrible. Doesn’t ...

Corporate Welcome Simulation v1.0.1 (Beta) - The Biscuit Knew the Protocols. You Did Not.

You cough. Not convincingly. Not with dignity. But with intent.

You attempt remorse. It arrives somewhere between “I’m sorry” and “please don’t report me to Facilities”.

You open your mouth.
You begin to speak.
This is your first mistake.

The ...

Everyone Loves a Crush Confession (Until It’s Theirs)

Oh, sweet patrons… tell me, won’t you, when it comes to a crush confession, would you fall for the utterly smitten barista with too many freckles and not enough chill… or the jealous TV star who absolutely does not share the spotlight (or you)?

Option A: 2025-06-22 22:58:18 +0000 UTC View Post

Grumpy Floof or Lunatic Moth? Pick Your Poison

So, lovely patrons… would you rather spend the evening in with your grumpy wolf flatmate (tsundere, obviously), or the moon-drunk moth girl who keeps forgetting what personal space is?

Option A: 🐺 Wolf Girl
You left the door locked, and I n...

One Button, Two Fates, Mild Panic

Right then. So, darling Patrons, would you rather “flirt or fight”... or “kiss or kill”?

(Not judging. Just taking notes. For reasons.)

Option A: Skyscraper Confession
I scaled a whole building in heels for you and you still didn’t text me back. ...

Corporate Welcome Simulation v1.0.1 (Beta) - You Licked It. It Liked It. HR Is Involved.

You lean in. Slowly. Hesitantly. With the kind of creeping dread usually reserved for replying-all to an email thread you weren't meant to be on.

You don’t mean for it to be weird.

It is.

Your tongue meets wafer. It’s dry. Then not. It sighs, just slightly. You feel...

Corporate Welcome Simulation v1.0.1 (Beta) - Biscuit-Based Threat Assessment: Phase One

You extend a tentative finger toward the tray. The air feels heavier now, like the moment before a very small, very stupid storm.

Contact is made.

Nothing leaps. Nothing shouts. But something shifts. A murmuring of crumbs. The faint sense that you’ve been acknowledged. Assessed. Log...

Corporate Welcome Simulation v1.0.1 (Beta)

Wednesday? Let’s pretend.

You find yourself in what once resembled a staff room. Now it’s more like the fossilised memory of one. Beige walls. Beige tiles. Beige morale. Everything smells faintly like toner and someone’s forgotten lunch.

Above, a flickering strip light buzzes wi...

Right then.

It’s me again. Emerging from the smoke like some cursed NPC whose only dialogue is “sorry about that” and “I swear this time was different.”

Every time I get absolutely flattened by life’s charming tendency to punt my plans directly into the sun, I end up writing this k...

Purr-suasion Tactics - F4A - Romance - Purring, Pleading, and Pillow Talk

I know you have to go. I know there’s a clock ticking, and emails waiting, and a whole world out there that needs you. But right now, I need you more. Just one more minute in bed. One more kiss that doesn’t feel rushed. One more reason to believe we’re still us. I’m not trying to keep you...

Fur Real, Don’t Leave - F4A - Romance - I Missed You Too Much to Let Go

I counted the minutes today. I always do. Not because it helps, it doesn’t , but because if I keep the numbers straight, maybe the day won’t fall apart without you in it. And now you’re finally home, soaked and warm and mine again. Don’t take your coat off. Not yet. Stay right here. Let ...

Fated to You - F4A - Supernatural Yandere - I Made the World Soft for You

You thought life had finally started to align. A string of lucky breaks, the right words at the right time, the world softening just enough for you to feel safe. But safety has a source, and fate has a voice. I’ve been here since your first breath, rearranging the world around you, curating you...

TRUTH OR DARE (I Don’t Give Dares. You Don’t Give Answers)

Alright. Truth or dare?
Oh. Dare again. Of course you did.

You're not here for honesty, are you?
You want me to tell you what to do.
Fine then.
Take off your jacket. Slowly. Make me believe you're regretting it already.

Truth or dare?
Still dare? You’re exhausting. 2025-06-01 23:42:22 +0000 UTC View Post

Be Bad Too - F4A - Dark Romance - You Always Return, Don’t You

Content Warning: This audio contains themes of emotional manipulation, coercive control, psychological domination, self-deception, and morally ambiguous consent.

You said you wouldn’t come back. You swore you’d be good. But here you are, again, trembling at the edge of ...

The Museum Job (as told by the woman who vanished right after it)

They still talk about it in low tones. Never loud. Never in front of the new hires or the shiny badge boys. Just after closing, maybe, when the corridors echo and the tea’s gone cold. The night the lights flickered at the Royal Obsidian. The night the past disappeared.

I didn't take every...

The Ghost Job - F4A - Neo Noir - She Knows You Are There

I knew someone was there long before I saw them. The air changed. The silence thickened. They crept in night after night, never touching, never taking, just watching. I left the safe open, once. They closed it. That’s when I realised it wasn’t the diamonds they were after. It was me....

Trust the Process (Even if the Process is a Bit Sleep-Deprived)

Right then. While I’m working my way through the audio backlog, slowly, determinedly, with the grace of someone absolutely not listening to their doctor, I’m going to aim to get at least two audios a day out to you.

Things will pick up as I’m able to stay at ...

Editing, or A Long, Drawn-Out Affair Between Me and My Own Mistakes

Ever wonder why editing takes me so long?

Well.
Firstly, and this is key, I am, at heart, an absolute menace. I record like someone in a fugue state, often with six different ideas battling for control of one sentence. Which means what I end up with is… not usable, but...

Pretty With My Collar - F4A - Dark Psychological Romance - Possession Never Looked So Sweet

Content Warning: This audio contains themes of emotional manipulation, psychological control, restraint, and implied physical violence towards the listener, including references to bruising inflicted as part of a dominant power dynamic.

You thought I would not notice. That ...

On Trigger Warnings, Tagging, and Trying to Be Thoughtful Without Sounding Like a Signpost

So.
Here’s a little note about content warnings, because I’ve been rethinking how I structure posts lately, and it seemed worth saying out loud. Or… typing quietly.

I’ve never been the sort of creator who slaps “Trigger Warning” at the top of every post. Not because I don’t...

Wading Through Treacle (and Possibly Into the Kitchen)

Let’s be honest: editing audio is not a graceful process.
It’s not even particularly respectable. It’s just me, hunched like a gremlin, crawling frame by frame through vowel sounds and plosives, wondering who let me have a microphone in the first place.

It feels, and I say this wit...

I’m Going to Kill You - F4A - Dark - Your Girlfriend’s Smile Just Shifted

You came to me willingly. I didn’t even need to lure you in. You kissed me first, and I tasted you like honey on my lips, far too sweet for someone who was always meant to die. I warned you. I told you what I was. But you stayed. And now you’re trembling, not with fear, but with something far...