XaydLove

Atlanta

I drove to Atlanta today to attend Thicc's birthday party. We went to karaoke and it was lit. I had a lot of fun despite being nervous about meeting JayBurritos & singing in front of people and all that.

Anyway, here are some photos of the sky, in order from when I left home to getting...

Thank you

Hey. I just wanna say hi and thank you for y'all's support and good vibes. I appreciate you. For real.

Here are a few sky photos from when I left the house the other day. 💛

Maybe I'll post more of those here since i don't leave the house often but I'm always interested in the clo...

😬 about Sunday...

So if you missed it, on Sunday I had a subathon. I called it a Love-a-thon. I streamed for 15 hours. The community unlocked an ASMR reading stream, a music/karaoke stream, a limited edition merch item giveaway (congratulations KingSketchum), a Raven (DC Comics) cosplay stream, a live pie to the f...

Are You Breathing?

On Saturday, I got some unpleasant news. I spent an hour quietly crying and....not really breathing. I was a wreck. And then Sweet called me. She taught me a technique called square breathing. It's when you inhale, hold, exhale, hold, and repeat. So there's four parts to it which makes it a squar...

I dunno, fam...

I was going somewhere positive and then it went somewhere dark. I-I'll try again another time.

Danger...

I wrote this last year and i didn't realize there was a typo until recently...heh. enjoy.

Hmm...

So i got the Patreon app on my phone again and everything looks so different. I'm not sure if this means more frequent content, since i type my poetry on my phone late at night or what. But it'll be much easier to upload art photos. So y'all won't have to wait as long for me to send it to myself ...

143

I need another distraction.

At a time where I'd rely on my words to help me express and understand what I'm feeling...my mind is empty save for three words.

No, four. Four words. Three lil shmall, heavy ones and the last is your name.

Damn, I love the way your name feels on my l...

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I GOT A NEW LAMP!!!!!!!!!!!

Video in discord 😅

with love

farmer xayd tends to her garden with love.

completed commission~

I finally shipped out Odemi the other day, and included this Alphonse doodle. Hopefully the recipient enjoys them both.

xaydverse???

i wanna try to get at least one more xaydverse drawing in before the end of the year. cuttin i close, yea. i know. but i really wanna keep with it. i'm not drawing as frequently as i'd like but i've been doin a lot so i'm giving myself a pass.

fingers crossed we get my hands to do one mor...

an oldie

i wrote this back in 2018. it doesn't have a title....but it's similar to how i've been feelin lately.


untitled | 16 Dec 2018

I hear sirens
a steady build
not the emergency sirens
but more like the wind
screaming? crying?
a lone banshee passing by?

I kind...

Odemi...

i've been stuck but trying to work on a painting commission... this is my D&D OC, Odemi. i hope to finish this tomorrow...

gotta do the cookin by the book

this is baker xayd. she's bakin cakes.

we surfin

i love the ocean. i've always wanted to do something really really cool. surfing seems pretty dangerous and also neat. so why not lol

you'll see more of Surfer Xayd soon too

getawaydriver

this is the first of the xaydverse... all the alternate timelines.

in this one, a getaway driver. i'm really good at having to drive with purpose, i think. so i'd likely be good at this....somewhere else. i'll likely revisit this one. i have more planned for her.

enter the xaydverse

so as yall probably know, i've been making lil comics. i missed  a few days because of work but i'm trying to do them every day. bit ambitious, but they're not super elaborate, so that kinda helps.

this is something i've been wanting to do for a long, long time. i kept thinking about a...

Would you be interested in an NSFW art tier?

I've been trying to figure out the best way to incorporate some other forms of art into my portfolio. I just want to know if anyone would be interested in seeing my progress with that.

i dunno

i'm not sure what i'm doing anymore.
sorry for the lack of updates.
i'm still grieving and ....failing.  

but i love you and i hope to be sunshine for us all again soon.

maybe next time it'll be better

i dont know what to say about this

i dont know either

this song really speaks to me because i have no idea what i'm doin or why i'm even here most of the time. i'm just .....here.... tryin my best.

new coping mechanisms

i decided to try crying into my microphone instead of drinking excessively

sadboi chronicles #4

Do you ever feel worthless?
Like you try and try to be
Someone to love, like, care for
Someone worthy
Of all the love and care you give others?  

Do you ever feel hopeless?
Like no matter what you do
Nothing you do to fix life
Will ever work
Your efforts...

Learning Clip Studio

I've been trying to learn how to use Clip Studio in between working on commissions. It's going about as well as I could hope without external help (so far). I'm doing a self portrait of sorts - me with the bunny ears. I have a feeling I'll be working on this for a while...

sadboi chronicles #3

Doomed -- 13 April 2021 1:23AM

am i doomed to a life of darkness?
a mime in the night.
bumping into invisible walls.
tripping over unseen obstacles.
trying to find a little light.
a little warmth.
will you light my candle?  

will i alwa...

sadboi chronicles #2

Singing -- 24 March 2021 3:36AM

I've got the point where singing doesn't help anymore.

I can sing til I'm hoarse

Sing til I'm out of words

Sing til it hurts

But I'm still not out of tears

Still no...

sadboi chronicles #1

I want you -- August 2020

I wanna be alone

but i want you

Dont wanna stare at the phone

but i want you

Waiting for you to say “hey”

Waiting for you to brighten my day

It’s hurting me to say

but i...

Refresher

Today, I got a new patron (shoutout to Lester). It made me go back and actually look at my page, my intended purpose. Honestly, I have lost sight of what I really wanted to do with this. And by that, I mean I haven't known wh...

New Computer

I was finally able to afford a new computer. I will be able to stream again starting tomorrow, thanks to my amazing patrons, family members, and community members. Thank you so much for believing in me and helping me during this heavy journey. I cannot wait to get back into the swing of things!!<...